Joel Hanrahan

Joel Hanrahan was named closer today which kind of sucks for him because it means he will probably pitch less than 15 times all year.  Good luck scoring that next contract! HA! See, winning isn't really everything.. screwing over average major league relievers is just as fun.

Three things the Pirates need to do to contend this year:

1.) Win more than 70 games.  I know, seems obvious right?  Somebody forgot to inform them.  They have not won more than 70 since 2004 and more than 80 since 1992.

2.) Get rid of Joel Hanrahan.  Seems kinda counterproductive in a thread titled "Joe Hanrahan" but c'mon, he sucks.

3.) Merge with the Phillies.  I'm sure they could find room for McCutchen in their outfield and the rest of them can fetch water and catch pop flies for Chase Utley.